I have to start this article by making a bit of a confession.
Way back when, I had a career as a dating coach.
Now, having suffered from some serious lack of social skills and more loneliness than I care to remember, I was pretty devoted to improving my craft, especially when it came to improving #confidence and mastering some powerful #mindset hacks.
In fact, I’d venture to say I became pretty good at my craft and actually helped hundreds of guys find genuine love.
But one of the most interesting things I noticed was, that while many guys “got it” right away, others would come back year after year, still deeply stuck, mired in depression, sadness, even soul-sucking sorrow.
I tried many methods to help these poor fellows, with nothing working.
Then, one day, something really big happened.
You see, I was working with a guy, we will call Bill
Now, this poor fella, who was around 45 years old, had a terrible problem.
You see, Bill had not only never had a date in his life.
This decent, good-hearted, smart guy could not even talk to a woman he didn’t already know.
Anyway, I had Bill up on stage, trying to do some hypnosis with him, when he blurted out in tears, “I always fail meeting women.”
And then a gear slammed down in my head, and I found myself blurting out the three “magic” words in the title of this post.
At the top of my lungs, with all the emphasis I could add, I said….
…“Up Until Now!”
He looked at me startled, shifted in his chair to sit up straight as an arrow, as an actual hint of his first smile in years spread across his sorrow-weathered face
“Bill,” I continued, “Up until now, it was the case you had this very big challenge. How do things instantly and powerfully change for you on the inside the more clearly you think about it in this new and empowering way?”
Needless to say, Bill walked out of my seminar a changed man.
Now, what does this have to do with you and your limiting beliefs?
Simply this: by adding the phrase “up until now” in front of any limiting self-statement, you bind it in time, putting it squarely in the past.
Of equal, and yet far more subtle importance, you stay in rapport with your unconscious mind by acknowledging that, all those memories it has of you screwing it up are real.
If you don’t do this, your unconscious mind will fight your “positive” intentions tooth and nail.
This is what creates that internal conflict that so often can make your road to success feel like an exhausting struggle instead of a joyous journey
So the next time you find yourself uttering or thinking that limiting self-belief, stick those three “magic” words in front and tune into the nice feeling of your neural networks spreading wide.
How do you manage limiting beliefs?
PS Years later, I got a lovely email from Bill, with an attached pic of his little baby daughter. It said, “Thank you for teaching Daddy the skills to meet my Mommy.”